F Bombs & A Scary Strong DA

Good Morning!

We all have those moments that test us!

I started this newsletter as a journal to my future self - to learn from my mistakes and look back on moments I thought I couldn’t recover from. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? I hope you find something in these stories to make your day easier—and maybe learn from my own lessons in the process.

This Week’s Reminders to Myself:

1. Patience and Professionalism Are Non-Negotiable

2. Confront Issues with Fairness and Understanding

3. Accountability With Kindness Builds Trust

What Happened: A Wiggly Kid and One Big Slip-Up

Lesson: Patience and Professionalism Are Non-Negotiable

Picture this… a little boy in the chair, full of energy, squirming like he’s got ants in his pants. He’s moving around so much that filling his cavities is nearly impossible. My seasoned dental assistant was trying her best, but this kid was dodging invisible bees. And then, frustration got the better of her.

With a loud sigh, she blurted out, “Can you just f*ing sit still?”** The boy was on nitrous, so he might not have noticed, but everyone else sure did—including another assistant, who immediately reported it to me, wide-eyed.

Let’s be real — everyone has breaking points, and no one’s perfect. But this wasn’t just about dropping a curse word. It was about maintaining our standards of kindness, patience, and professionalism—especially around kids. Even if they don’t understand every word, they pick up on how we say things, and that matters.

The Talk

Lesson: Confront Issues with Fairness and Understanding

I knew I had to address it, but not with anger. My job as a manager is to help my team grow, even when conversations are tough. Armed with a writeup, I braced myself.

But before I even got to her, she saw me coming. “I’ll quit before I sign anything!” she practically shouted. “I’ve never been written up, and today won’t be the day!”

This wasn’t going to be an easy heart-to-heart. She was a foot taller than me and looked ready to go ten rounds in the ring. My heart was pounding, but I knew I had to stay calm and professional.

Finding a Resolution, Not a Standoff

Lesson: Accountability With Kindness Builds Trust

In hindsight, leading her into a private room and shutting the door might not have been the best move. As soon as that door clicked shut, I thought, Oh great, now it’s just me and her. Not my finest managerial moment.

But I reminded myself this was about finding a resolution, not winning a standoff. So, I took a breath and approached her with fairness, professionalism, and understanding.

“I know you didn’t intend to swear at a child, but it happened. We need to talk about it.” I paused, watching her soften just a bit. “I also want to hear your side because this isn’t about playing the blame game.”

That’s when she started to open up. She explained how difficult the appointment had been, how the boy wouldn’t sit still, and how she just hit her breaking point. “I’ve never had this much trouble with a filling before,” she admitted.

I nodded. “That sounds frustrating, and I get it.”

Moving Forward: Building Trust and Accountability

Lesson: Accountability With Kindness Builds Trust

Instead of focusing on what went wrong, we discussed what she could have done differently. Could she have taken a break? Called in another assistant for backup? Or asked the dentist for help?

She agreed that stepping away might have been the best option. We discussed strategies for managing tough situations like this in the future. This wasn’t about punishing her but about helping her handle frustration in a way that aligned with our values.

After all that, she signed the writeup — not because I forced her to but because we both knew it was the right thing to do. We both learned something valuable that day.

So…

Leadership is more than laying down the law. It’s about building trust and showing your team that you’re there to listen, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about accountability with kindness and maintaining professionalism, no matter how intense things get.

That day, she walked away, knowing I wasn’t out to get her. I was doing my job—treating her with respect while holding her accountable. And that trust? It’s what makes everything else fall into place.

When your team knows they can count on you to be fair, they’re more likely to own up to their mistakes and grow. That’s what makes a good manager. Plus, if you can keep your cool while staring down a dental assistant who looks like she could bench-press you, you’re probably doing something right.